i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My penis needs a shock collar
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
