which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
