You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
why is half of my head shaved?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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