You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
