I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
