My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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