I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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