I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
