Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
