I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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