Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
