Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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