What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
