i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
