I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
