No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
