Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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