he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
