Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
