I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
