how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
