I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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