Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
