i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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