So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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