I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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