You're completely useless in the revolution.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
