There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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