Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
