So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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