fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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