Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
