That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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