the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
