Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
