He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
