you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
