just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
