Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
