he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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