i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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