Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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