If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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