were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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