i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
