Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
