Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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