U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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