Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
