Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize