I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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