hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
