I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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