Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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