You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
