I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
