So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
