when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
